Introducing Our New Podcast, xanyland
Hi. I’m Alicia. And I hate podcasts.
No, I’m kidding. But was my childhood dream to become a podcaster? No. Did I get into therapy to have a wellness podcast? No. And do I listen to podcasts? Not really.
So, why listen to mine? I’ll tell you.
xanyland’s First Guest
I wanted to come at this project with my own personal, unique point of view. Ergo, it just felt right to share this aural space with comedians. Comedy and performing is my other world, outside of the office. It’s what led me to my first guest.
I became friends with Jordana Lilly through The Groundlings School. For those out of the know, Groundlings is an improv and sketch comedy school in Los Angeles that has produced stars like Will Ferrell, Kristin Wiig, Jordana Lilly, and me.
I met Jordana doing improv, and we became fast friends. It wasn’t until years later — last year in fact, that I bumped into her at a restaurant in Los Feliz. We caught up on life, and I immediately knew this could be my way in. Jordana is awesome. She is an actor/writer/singer/comedy extraordinaire, who also happens to be in therapy.
Like most artists, “she’s so busy,” and still manages to find time to spiral into a pit of anxiety and depression. She does stand up around LA and is actually writing a musical movie! She is a rising star who you should absolutely keep your eyes out for.
So jump to us having dinner at another low-key Los Feliz joint, the tiny Italian one famous people are always at — whispering *Little Dom’s* — to talk about the pod. I explained my grand schemes to take over the “podcastiverse,” and she said, “I’m in.”
xanyland was born.
Jordana and I went on to discuss that sometimes it takes a couple tries to feel out a relationship whether that be with a therapist or in this instance — a microphone. Our conversation was organic and unstructured, which felt right for the tone of the show. So much of our lives are formulaic, your therapy and free time shouldn’t be.
This loose format allowed for loootsss of things to come up in our on-mic episode — lots of vocabulary words y’all! TONS.
A word that people keep asking about is “joining.” It was one of the first techniques I learned in school. Modern psychoanalysis — especially in the Spotnitzian style — is all about joining with the client, not by confronting defenses but by aligning with them, mirroring their structure with a kind of therapeutic jiu-jitsu.
This isn’t just about building rapport and safety. It’s about padding the ego, strengthening the psyche, and creating the internal scaffolding needed for future growth. When done right, it preps the client to mature into interventions rather than resist them — because sometimes the best way to move someone forward is to first stand right beside them.
It’s a clear reason why choosing a friend for the first episode was immediately validated.
It gave Jordana confidence to discuss “splitting” or “black and white thinking,” therapists vs. psychoanalysts, DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy), and, of course, the difference between ambivalence and amphibians — not to be mistaken for the same things.
In striving for organic conversation, we found our topic and dove deep into how to choose the right therapist for you. I can tell you it’s not always an easy task, as someone who has had many therapists throughout my life — five that I can remember.
Therapy is a relationship. It should be a two-way street, and if it’s not, you might want to consider walking the other way. Here is the formal part of the blog where I provide you with resources to break up with your current therapist or join the many looking for “the one”:
Open Path offers affordable therapy options, with therapists charging under $70 an hour, making it a great choice for those on a budget.
Zocdoc is another valuable tool, especially for those using insurance, as it allows you to find therapists in your area who accept your plan.
Psychology Today is one of the most common platforms where therapists list their services, giving you a wide range of choices, all within your zip code. Additionally,
My Wellbeing is a highly recommended site for finding therapists that align with your values and preferences. If you’re unsure where to start, don’t hesitate to call your insurance company and ask about in-network therapists or even check their listings on Psychology Today. Just like you would with another medical professional you trust, ask friends for recommendations! Discussing therapy openly can continue to normalize the process altogether.
Mentaya (an affiliate sponsor of Xanyland) is a good option if cost is a barrier. It can help process super bills to insurance companies if you're seeing an out-of-network provider.
Remember, it's okay to be specific about what you're looking for in a therapist! If you have certain preferences, such as wanting someone who shares your cultural background or sexuality, trust that instinct and seek out a therapist who can best support your needs.
Don't be discouraged if the first therapist isn't the right fit — it might just be a matter of finding the right match. Therapy is a personal journey, and it's essential to be patient and persistent as you work toward finding the right therapist for you.
Let’s Get Into It
Finally, welcome to xanyland: Episode One. I want this podcast to feel like a conversation with friends. I will state it again, this is a candid and irreverent often meandering conversation. Possibly not like a podcast at all and definitely not therapy, but more like a dorky convo between theatre geeks nerding out on mental health.
Yes, I am a licensed therapist, but these episodes should be about learning and laughing, which Jordana and I did a lot of. And if our laughter sounds like two “cackling women” to you… well, then you can just fuck right off. Our cackles are beautiful, and I’ll never stop.
Don’t Miss an Episode of xanyland
Don’t miss any future episodes of xanyland. Enter your email to get notified each time a new episode drops. Or subscribe on your favorite app platform. xanyland is on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube.